Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: seeing others happy Doctor : ok so what makes you happy? Me: seeing stupid people in misery or agony Doctor: Well that’s rather sadistic. Me: well statistically one in two doctors have fingerd a child… Doctor: do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy? Me: there’s nothing hidden inside me, I’m empty “smug face”.

Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs… Oh, wait. He already did.

A man gets an email from his doctor

“Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it’ll be at your house tommarrow”

The man thinks to himself “oh shit! Then what have I been taking?”

What’s the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat? Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription