I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions...
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills.
Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him?
Doctor: They Are For You.!!
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? -- It needed to be checked out.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression. It’s called Enditol.
A man gets an email from his doctor
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tommarrow"
The man thinks to himself "oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist? 'Ivan Astichestykov,
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a viagra, Jill was drunk fell to her knee, Jack had his chance did Jill till 3
Why can't people in africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach
to whoever stole my antidepressants,why do you need them
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
i work on medicine my jod is to smell it to see if its bad :)
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close the casket.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. "I don't understand it, Doc", she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas". "Thankfully", she added, "they are at least silent when I fart". Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled. The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Why do pills work? Because they r white
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
if you need to squint to read this... you probably need glasses
