House

House Jokes

It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wifeโ€™s mom and dad just died

Wife:๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญI wish this never happened

Mia our first daughter: momy itโ€™s ok I love whenever I see you๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I wonโ€™t but I love you when ur alive ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜

Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when weโ€™re alive but you donโ€™t love us when weโ€™re dead๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜“

Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommyโ€™s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿคฌ.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry ๐Ÿ˜ฃ when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then weโ€™ll get you back.says mom:

This was not a joke I just did this for Love ๐Ÿ’•

Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.

These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, โ€œMommy, can little girls have babies?โ€ โ€œNo,โ€ said his mom, โ€œOf course not.โ€ Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, โ€œItโ€™s okay! We can play that game!โ€

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

It's really funny, read through everything slowly.

Say "I'm a man" after everything I say.

I went to the bar. "I'm a man." You saw this woman. "I'm a man." You guys married. "I'm a man." You guys bought a house. "I'm a man." You guys went to bed. "I'm a man," you said. "I'm a man," she said. "I'm a man."