Horror jokes
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
What game do zombies like to play?
Corpse and Robbers.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.