So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
