Horror jokes

What's better than a pile of dead babies?

One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.

If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.

No, seriously,

I'm right behind ya.

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

100 dead babies in a trash can.

What is worse than that?

There's a live one at the bottom.

What is worse than that?

It eats its way out.

What is worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.

Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?

He thought his son sucked!

Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?

To make room in the freezer for his special meat.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

More than five because my basement is still dark.

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?

It's always someone you know.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Orgasm means two things:

1. During you masturbate.

2. You torture phantoms.

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.