Horror jokes
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
I eat kids.
What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.
What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.
What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.
Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.