Horror jokes
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
All this Little Shop of Horrors merchandise and I still want to see more.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
I asked a librarian if they had a section with Rocky Horror books.
She said: "Sure, just take a jump to the left and then a step to the right."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What’s worse than five babies in a dumpster?
One baby in five dumpsters.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...
Then IT hit me.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.