Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
