Hooker

Hooker Jokes

Money

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

Butter

What does a hooker and butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

Dick

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

Money

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Moses

Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?

A: They've dealt with a burning bush.

Porn star

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Cash

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

Girlfriend

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

Dick

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Stripper

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

Cadillac

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

Suicide

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Rubber

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

Customer

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

Part

What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!