Hooker jokes
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."