Honey

Honey jokes

Dad

  • Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

    Movie

  • Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

    Bisexual man

  • What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

    👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

    👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

    🚲 🚲 🚲

    😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

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  • Pedophile

  • The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

    "Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

    So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

    "Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

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  • Adoption

  • Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."

    Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*

    *Wakes up in an adoption center.*

    Damn, it was those kind of papers.

    Lol

  • Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

    Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

    Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

    Stacy: lol

    Boy

  • This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

    He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

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  • Husband

  • Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

    Wife: Aww, thanks.

    Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

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  • Shit

  • One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

    Woman

  • A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

    The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

    An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

    "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

    A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

    "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

    If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

    A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

    "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

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