Son:mom can i tell you something?
Mom:yes of course honey whats up?
Son:ok U HAVE TERRIBLE JOKES THERE NOT EVEN FUNNY
MOm:well i made you
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie awhile ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
I know this is a really bad poem but I'll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do.
Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea? Husband : No, I like after "T"! .............. It means: the letter "U" : you!
Sugar Honey Ice Tea
I FORGOT MY JOKE
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below
Trump: I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy Melania: Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy? Ivanka: Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy Pilot: Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?
A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife, what she was doing, she said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle, it's supposed to be a tiger but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "honey those are frosted flakes."
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
Nock Nock Who's there Your mom Your mom who. O shit my moms home honey get the f*** out of my house!
Stacy:: honey I'm kinda new to texting what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, lots of love I guess
Margert: Stacy are you there, I don't know if you heard but Amber and her 3 kids were killed in a car crash this morning I'm in total shock
Stacy: lol
dad- HONEY
mom- what
dad- all of the broken condums are on the bed
mom- WHAT!?
children- *staring*
Roses are red violets are blue you look like honey boo boo
Why does Kermit like miss piggie covered in honey... because he likes sweet and sour pork
Um honey I'm glad your done but um WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I"M PRETTY SURE FACES DON"T BEND THAT WAY!!
mom, what happens if you swear at a church? well honey a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and numb chucks will beat you
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening. "Sure honey! If you suck my dick! So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!" "Oh yeah, I forgot" says the father "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
Man and woman are having a discussion. Woman looks into man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . ".
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in".
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
bully: you are a piece of shit person: no, im not a piece and im not brown... so no honey.
Husband: Honey, Do you want sex? Whife: No thanks i have a headache. Husband: Is that your final answer? Whife: Mmmmm. Husband: Are you shure? -Whife Yes Husband: No doubts? Whife: No Husband starring a long time at his whife. Husband: Okey, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend. -
