Honestly jokes

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

"No."

"Have you always been honest?"

"No, never been caught!"

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.

I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.

Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

For all the online haters on me, comment here, be honest.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.