I love you
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory, one day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station,I told her so you can weigh yourself on the truck scale.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
after 6 months of lockdown
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning there’s a lot of sucking and blowing but at the end you lose your house
At what point does a joke become a dad joke? When it disappears and never returns home
why cant an orphan win a baseball game? Because they can't reach home
I once told an orphan to go big or go home, he replied I can't get home it got bombed
I met a baseball player , so I told him to make a home run , and he just looked at me with sadness I don't know why
By the way he was an orphan
Why did the cop ask the Orphan he was home alone.
The orphan said because my parents have never came back yet because I have none
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan? One has a home to run to
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
The orphan turned 18 but he was happy bcz he didnt have to pay rent to his parents.
What is wrong with the Orphan Website? It doesn't have a home page
Say this when you answer a spam call... Hi welcome to bobs taco shack and funeral home. Wear yesterdays grief is todays beef.
Why do orphans say go big or go home So that way they feel important
(Phone call) This is Franks funeral home and grill where yesterday’s grief is todays beef. How may we help you ?
my friend playing truth or dare me:dare my friends:i dare u to go home
for charlie damelio fans my basement is your home now leave a like if you agree with me
