Home jokes
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why do orphans stay home alone?
Because they don't have parents.
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
I went on an orphan website. Sadly, there was no home page.
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.