Home jokes
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
Why are orphans so bad at playing poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"
Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.