Home jokes

I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?

What is the difference between a human and a house? A human can walk, and a house cannot walk.

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!

Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"

Orphan; "Stop calling here!"

Orphans can't find the home page.

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

How many babies does it take to paint a room red?

Depends how hard you throw 'em.

Two whales went to a bar.

The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

What do you call an orphan with a gun?

(No) home shooter.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Why can’t orphans build anything?

Because they can’t go to Home Depot.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?

It was too cold because they did not have a home.