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Home jokes

Brother

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Sister

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Orphan

I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"

Orphan

When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?

He has no home to hit to.

Orphan

2 views ·

Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?

Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.

Kid

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Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

Door

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I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

Orphan

Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?

Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.

Butt

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Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”

Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.

Orphan

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What do you call an orphan? Homeless.

What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.