Home jokes
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
What’s a rapper’s favorite part of the house?
The rhyme cellar.
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
Hi, I did not get it when I went home to walk home from home and walk, walk, walk.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What is the difference between a human being in the car with the snow and a tree and a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your name on it haha 😂 day a day I was thinking of a good
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
POV: You're at school and you just enjoy your day.
Now once you found a bully and he said, "I will burn you in fire," then you just punched him out of the school and got detention. You escaped and walked home, but the bully came and ROASTED you. He threw you in the garbage, but you took off his clothes and even his underwear. You escape the bin and took a shower and had a good day after.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.