Home jokes
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
Why does an orphan hate playing baseball?
Because it has no home base.
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. *just a silly idea*
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."