Hold Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What is the difference between a broom and a mop? It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bolin ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though al research that

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Me holding a new cat: Say Hi to my little friend! My friends: Hi to my little friend!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

3 men where in a desert 1 man was holding a jug the 2nd was holding a paper bag and the last was holding a car door a man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug he said it was his water and if he got thirsty he would take a drink. Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag the guy said this is my packed lunch so if I get hungry I will eat my lunch. Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said it he got hot he would roll down the window.

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of em....

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Pro tip: how to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make you child hold the nail.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How many redheads does it take to change lightbulb?

One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? - A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? - he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words... - “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance... - only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours... - lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

Why hand holding is a couple thing? Because they touch each others genitals anyway.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right? Answer: Your right elbow

You Could Hold Your Breath for the Rest of Your Life ***Think about it.***

"Hold my beer, watch this."

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair. The man who controls the chair asks for any last words. The prisoner reply’s with: “Can you hold my hand?”