Hold

Hold jokes

Bathroom

    • What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

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    • Hold memes

    Music

    • Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.

    Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?

    Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh

    In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same

    Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"

    Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh

    In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same

    Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.

    Calendar

    • Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

    Spiderman: "Yes."

    Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

    Spiderman: "Why?"

    Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

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    • Parent

    • "Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

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    • Suicide

    • Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

    Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

    Guy: "Yup"

    Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

    Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

    Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

    He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

    We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

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    • Memory

    • Watersharky Music Productions Presents Memories by Conan Gray.

    One, two

    It's been a couple months That's just about enough time For me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures Now I kinda smile, I haven't felt that in a while It's late, I hear the door Bell ringing and it's pouring I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance You just wanna talk and I can't turn away a wet dog But please don't ruin this for me Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love With somebody other than me I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories Since you came I guess I'll let you stay For as long as it takes To grab your books and your coat And that one good cologne That you bought when we were fighting 'Cause it's still on my clothes, everything that I own And it makes me feel like dying I was barely just surviving I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories.

    Cliffhanger

    • Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

    Actor: Really? What do I do?

    Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

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    • Shooter

    • The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    Sheet

    • So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

    Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

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    • Dick

    • I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

    Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

    And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

    But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

    Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

    So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

    And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

    I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

    My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

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