Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Allouette, gentille allouette!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the latter son?"
if I told u, u had a nice body would u hold it against me.
I fear my last words will be ''hold my beer and watch this.''
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words, they wanted to hear them. They are: you still holding the ladder
what's the difference between u and a bench? a bench can hold a family.
I will never forgot my grandfather‘s last words:
Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls
Me: John what did he do earlier
John: hold on, I’m trying to think
Me: I thought I smelled poop
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the latter?"
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
