Hit jokes
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
Titanic hit a dimetrodon.
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
Thatâs what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
Damn, y'all hit it hard with orphan jokes.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.