Hit jokes
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"