Hit jokes
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
An Indian, an African, and an Arab are jumping off a cliff to see who’ll hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.