What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Hit Jokes
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
