Hit jokes
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"