Hit jokes
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.