Hit Jokes

Best way to trick your friends:

A brick falls out of a plane.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

What's the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her

What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.

Obama, Trump and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children! Trump Screw the women and children! Clinton: Do you think we have time...?

Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach

What happened to the blind man's son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

I walked up to a man and he said hows the weather up their and then i pushed him in the street to get hit by a bus

What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?

R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

What’s the speed limit in bed? It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight

What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hit-her!

I have so many orphan jokes im afraid most of them wont hit home.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”