Hit jokes
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.