Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Hit Jokes
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
