Hit jokes

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

It's not like they'll tell their parents.

What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.

Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?

The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.