Hit jokes
You've been hit by, You've been struck by, Planes!
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall? Dam!
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.