History jokes
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?
The HIV test results.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!