History jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
(everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!
(person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!
(all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”