History jokes
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
My great grandpa killed Hitler.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.