History jokes
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Memes
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?
Wrong ΡΠ°ΠΉΠΌΠΈΠ½Π³.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What's another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Why can't Americans play chess?
They lost two towers.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasnβt all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)