History

History jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

JD Vance

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

Plane

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

Memes

Momma

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Slave

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

Human Nature

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Nightmare

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

9/11

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

Guy

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

Day

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

    Isaac Newton died a virgin.

    Jump

    Who says white people can't jump?

    Have you seen the 911 footage?

    Helen Keller

    How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

    They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

    Friend

    My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.

    Japanese

    Why are Japanese always so skinny?

    Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.