History jokes

The Titanic is now a resort for fish.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.