History jokes

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

Why can't Americans play chess?

Because they're missing two towers.

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

The Titanic is now a resort for fish.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.