History jokes

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?

He took away their ottoman!

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

The Titanic is now a resort for fish.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.

Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.