Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
History Jokes
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would just crash and burn.
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
