History jokes

Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.

Osama Bin Laden is his name.

Crashing planes is his game.

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.

I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”

My mind was blown when I saw all the people waving at me.

-JFK

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?

He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.