History Jokes

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

I asked the titanic a ice breaker question. It couldn't answer

What do you call hitler when he gets thrown? A gas grenade

Your hairline goes so far back even history can’t record it

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test

And that's what made him go down in history

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah) Student: How should I know, that's his story 🤷‍♀️

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head just because his wife Said he was close minded

I did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf It was only 3/5 full

Why are natives called redskins? Idk ask the pilgrims 😂

Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

The west is dying...just like the romance an empire especially the western part if the empire funny that, cause the east was going strong.

My great grandfather died in 9-11......

He was such a good pilot......

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common? They both enjoy digging up the past

Q. Why did Hitler shoot himself? A. Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

A Chinese Drunk and a Jewish Drunk are sitting together on a park bench...

After finishing his drink the Jew takes his bottle and *smashes* it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" ask the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle, and *smashes* it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg.... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

So apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

the past, present, and future walked into a bar. it was tense

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t Remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said “your about to become history”. I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.