Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
History Jokes
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
A man walks into a bar.
Then he walks into a Pole.
Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
