History jokes
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.