History jokes

Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.

Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they already lost 2 towers.

Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.

Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.

Crucifixion was the first T-pose.

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

What's black and white?

History.

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?

By dropping two of the biggest roasts.

What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?

Nothing, he just exploded.

9/11 is the biggest game of Jenga... ;)