History jokes

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.

Article 4: the Titanic sank.

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

Why do Americans suck at chess? Because they lost two towers.

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.

You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.

How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they already lost 2 towers.

Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.

Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.