History jokes
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
Memes
Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.