History jokes
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Your hairline goes further back, even further back than the Precambrian Time.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.
You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP's propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
I read a book on the Tracy Latimer case the other day.
It was a gas.
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.