History jokes
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.