History jokes
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.