History jokes
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same!
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.