History

History jokes

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.

Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"

John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.