History jokes
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!