History jokes

I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."

Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.

Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!

Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"

What knight is never wrong?

Sir Tain.

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)

Bully: Ur Gay.

Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.

Bully: *runs away and hears crash*

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.

Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.

Why were the Twin Towers angry?

They ordered pepperoni, and all they got was plane.

If museums are full of dead things...

Then why aren't there any memes inside them?

I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

Who's the world's fastest reader?

9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?

The blond survived.