History jokes
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.