History jokes
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
Hitler was a nazi.
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
Dinosaurs be like:
".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.