History

History jokes

Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

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  • "Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

    Hitler: "Mine less, then."

    Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

    Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

    Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

    In the morning at 6:30 AM,

    Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

    Me: Trump & Biden.

    Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

    After school,

    Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

    "She looks at her clock."

    Teacher: And now I am sewed.

    Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.