History Jokes

America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"

Why do white people carry Confederate flags?

To remind us that they are losers.

Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?

Alexander the Grape.

What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?

We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.

Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?

A. Ice burger.

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?

Neither has she.

Ready when you are, KK.

KK or Liv?

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

You're the reason the middle finger got created.

What would you name a mummified squirrel?

Perhaps... Mumford?

123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.

What category of music did JFK like?

You could say he was a metalhead.

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.

Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*

9/11:

What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?

One had the last supper.

Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?

Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.

Nosy.

What is big and stupid?

The Titanic.

What do you get when a dinosaur farts?

A blast from the past!