History jokes

The Nazis.

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

Why is America the fastest readers?

They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story!

I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.

Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.

What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?

A Butt-asaurus.

My dad killed Hitler.

Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.

Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?

Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.

What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?

"Aaah, a ghost!"

When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!

What is an orphan's family tree? A stump.

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi.

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they have already lost 2 towers.

Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.

We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."