Him jokes

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?

"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"

What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?

He waves his arms like a space invader.

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.