Him jokes

I've been drinking from a tall cup.

His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.

What did the tree do to the emo?

He left him hanging.

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

An Emo walked up to a tree and put his hand up for a high-five.

But the tree left him hanging.

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.