Him jokes
What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?
Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.
I've been drinking from a tall cup.
His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."