Him jokes
What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?
Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”
How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?
Well, it only takes one nail.
What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?
It left him hanging.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.