Him jokes

Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.

*also him*

Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

What happened when the emo tried to high five a tree?

It left him hanging.

Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!

My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”