Him jokes

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

Stop blaming Bush. He is white, it couldn’t have been him.

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!

Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Orphan more like “poor”phan because nobody likes him! :)

Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...

Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?

Because krypton is "stable."

When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.