Him jokes

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?

Because they kept booing him off stage!

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?

The guy that gave it to him.

I saw Simba walking slowly.

I told him "Mufasa!"

RAID HIM https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEAEVyTsAdnjawrdCkDu-A/videos

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...

Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.

What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?

He waves his arms like a space invader.

When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.

The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.