A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey Jim!"
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? hey get out of my sun!
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: Im not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I dont have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal...
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids
Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Kid:Hey what’s black and sneaky! Social studies teacher:Harriet Tubman
“Oh daddy,” the kid said. “I love you so much!” “Hey,” the man responded. “Until we get the DNA test results, I’m just Harry to you!”
In Boston we say
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said “ Hey Jill, you wanna?” Jill said yes, unzipped her dress and then they had a “daughta” 🤣
What did the rope say to my depressed ass
~ hey you wanna hang
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Pickup line; Hey mama you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
At baseball practice... Hey John did you bring the bucket of balls? No but I got two right here
What Would you find on a haunted beach?
A Sand-witch!
"Hey guys I'm a new Jokester, remeber my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!"
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean hey my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
so there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs that said hey sir i've never been fucked before will you do the honors and fuck me, so I threw her in the ocean and said well your fucked now.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?".The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off.".
