Hey Jokes

I once told a blind orphan hey look at the bright side

What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Hey Mitosis.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bar tender here?"

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

Hey can u hold this for a second

hey qwen it me

Person 1: Hey did you here about the circus fire? Person 2: No. Person 1: it was in-tents

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

what did the traffic light say to the other

hey stop looking at me im changing

I told my dad is was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up, I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

Someone:hey are you a skeleton? A skeleton: course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i've got a great spot! me: *grabs nuce and runs to my closet*

best friend makes 9/11 joke

you: hey my dad was inside the tower

best friend: im sorry

you: I always knew he was a great pilot

Hey can't wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”