Hey Jokes

hey guess what.. what.. my penis is big

two pedo's are on the beach one pedo said hey get out of my son

a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, "What's up?". The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "the sky!", but the other friend intervenes and says, "no it's the ceiling!". To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "unless you're homeless or six feet under."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside. He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see”

Well a boy and a girl are in a bath tube together. The little boy says “Hey you see that I’m gonna go ask daddy what it is?” When the little boy asks his dad he says. “Well son that’s your car you try to park it in a girls parking spot.” As the boy runs back he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama that her spot was and she said. “Well that’s your parking spot never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back the little boy tried to put the car in well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

Hey watch me eat this African sandwich. Takes huge bite of air.

How do poets say hello? Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

Hey~ How ya doin'?~ Well I'm doin' just fine~ I lied~ I'm DEAD inside~ Don't~ Tell me 'it's gonna be alright'~ I've tried, but I can't fight like this~ Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight~

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh? Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

Hey dad are you finally back with the milk dad: yea but it's expired so ima go back to the ''milk store'' and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

i'll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket: "hey, look how far i can kick this bucket!!"

hey daddy *winky face

There never was a historical jesus christ. Hey do not even dream of crucifying me.

devil : hey angel angel : hi devil why are nice ? devil : what do angels add to there food to make it i little more spicy? angel : what? devil : angelpinos

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are you're parents?" And he started to cry even more... "Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.