Hey

Hey jokes

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

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    • P = Person (not original "pun")

    P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

    (Communications with this person are now blocked)

    What did Pepper say to Spray?

    "Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"

    A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read, "Hey, I'm sorry I had to tell you like this but I have been doing your wife for months now." The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying, "Sorry, meant using your wifi."

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    • Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.

    What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"

    Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

    Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

    Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

    Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

    Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

    Dad: Oh, hey Brick!

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    • "Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

    "Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

    Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

    What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?

    ONESY.

    “Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.

    A man is with his friend in a bar.

    The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"

    Nervous, the man looks away.

    The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."

    The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."

    "Wait, wha..."

    "What?"

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    • Hey, you wanna hear something funny?

    An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.

    Two boys are talking on the bus.

    Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

    Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

    Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

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    • Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

    Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

    Me: Aren't you my son?

    Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

    A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

    I walked towards him.

    "I prefer slit," I said.

    "Why?" He asked.

    "You see these wrists?" I spat at him.

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