Hes jokes
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didnβt, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Memes
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why does Ms. Mushroom π go out with Mr. Mushroom π?
Because heβs a fungi.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.
They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.