Hes jokes

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.

Why didn't Trump beat Biden?

Because he couldn't trump that bitch!

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts to do it.

How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.

Why did the dog join the marching band?

Because he had his trum-bone.

Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?

Because he’s a fungi.

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.

It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why is E.T. better than an orphan?

Because he found his way home.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."