Hes jokes

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

O I C U R M T

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because he got stuck in a crack.

When does a doctor get mad?

When he runs out of patients!