Hes jokes

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

O I C U R M T

Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.