My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide but then thinks "maybe i shouldn't be doing this" and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Question; Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism? Answer; Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception? He toasts the groom
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him go big or go home and he only had one option.
can we stop talking about 9/11 my dad died man but he was a good pilot
Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe" He didn't make it either.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
why do bunnys like bruno mars : cuz he got 24 carrots
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The Orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination but he did go everywhere
How did the man with no arms commit suicide? We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot
But he nailed that mountain
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
