My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him 🥰🥰🥰
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
By:Xzavier
I have an EpiPen
Friend gave it to me when he was as dying
It seemed really important to him that I have it
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
why cant hitler join track? because he cant even finish a race
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
