Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn't see that well.
my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner So he says fruit ninja with his wrists
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn't. Richard's mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?
He did not have the guts!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".
The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting 'Remind me later' on his Windows Updates.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay
Because he wanted someone to call daddy
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.
Guy 2: Is it a hard life?
Guy: Yup
Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL
Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
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JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
